


The Preface to Courtship

by bayouen



Category: Puyo Puyo
Genre: Gen, M/M, ace/aro sig, and witch and gogotte are friends for some reason, dumb kids doing dumb things, klug works at a coffee shop...i guess, this got way the hell out of hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:18:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bayouen/pseuds/bayouen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The young prince Salde sent off the letter, his heart fluttering with anxiety. He never had been in a relationship and had no idea what to do so he was surprised he had the courage to take the initiative; he had to dealing with the very romantically clueless Sig. Sadly for him, Sig was even more clueless about relationships than he realized.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what this is but here it is, a short Sig/Salde thing. Hope you enjoy !!
> 
> Sig is a good child, I want you all to know that

Sig looked at the gold lined letter with confusion written on his face. He instantly recognized that the sender was the ocean prince (how couldn't he when he saw **PRINCE SALDE** written in bold golden ink) from the lingering smell of fish left behind by the letter. Sig was particularly fond of the ocean prince so his letters were always well received. The young fish likes to send letter after letter of detailed chores that his servants were suppose to do, which Sig never does because he never remembers them. It didn’t help that some of the tasks had words that he didn’t understand, but even so he still kept the letters.

Sig sat on a small stool next to his desk. His room was an odd mix of neat and disorderly. While books were neatly organized in the small book cover of his desk, his clothes were strewn around to the point of the faded carpet underneath was barely visible. On two occasions Amitie attempted to help clean his room, however when she returned she found his clothing in order but his books, homework and lose paper replaced them in obscuring the carpet.

She chalked it up another one of Sig’s many...uh “quirks” and helped him clean again resulting in the room reverting back to its original state. Luckily, by request of Amitie, he kept the desk clean and orderly, especially his letters which are all gathered in a small blue book. The book was filled with numerous letters from his friends (mostly from Amitie, some from Rider and Klug, one from Lemres on a cake recipe, an apology from Witch for using bugs in her newest “love” potion, and an angry letter from Randina on the nature of her name) and ocean prince was no stranger to it. However, when he ripped open the letter and peered at the contents, Sig realized this wasn’t any ordinary letter.

 

_Good morrow, young servant of the lord, Prince Salde Carnal Shellbrick III. I request thine assistance for a task of the utmost importance. Be wary for thou must appear at my servitude by dawn. Thou must be befuddled by my sudden inquisition. Let mine tactful iteration bestow wherefore thy presence is requested._

 

Sig was only half-way done but was already exhausted. He never could understand what Salde was saying most of the time and relied on his butler's quick translations to avoid awkwardness. Sig thinks he should go talk to him later.

 

_I, Prince Salde Carnal Shellbrick III hereby ask mine servant to gradually permit thy blessing for our courtship-_

 

Courtship?

Sig had no idea what that meant. Salde used a lot of words that Sig didn’t understand, like “jobs” or “laws”, or “unionized”. Sig usually ignored things that wasn’t ‘food’ or ‘bugs’ but this seemed rather important. It would be rude of Sig to ignore it when Salde had gone to the trouble of contacting him.

 

_...thy blessing for our courtship to begin henceforth. Consult mine butler for thine inquiries._

 

...After that, a name was signed on the bottom, but it was pretty much illegible to Sig. He assumes from the large sweeping brush strokes and messy lines it was signed by Salde himself.

Sig folded the letter and placed it deep inside his messenger bag. He scratched his head and furrowed his brow in thought.

Courtship, courtship...what could that mean?

This was something Sig could not figure out on his own.

So he went to his friends.

 

“ **COURTSHIP?!** ” Amitie yelled excitingly.

Sig couldn’t tell if Amitie was surprised because Amitie usually squealed about everything, but the doey eyes and large smile she had told that it was a good surprise.

“Yeah,” Sig replied in his usual monotone, “I got a letter asking for my..uh..courtship, what does that mean?”

“Wow! That’s great!” Amitie danced around Sig while giving him a large hug.

“Is it?” Sig wondered. I mean he was great before, how would being in this courtship improve his all around mood?

“Well yeah!” Amitie said as if it was the most obvious statement in the world, “Because that means you’re in looooooooooove”.

Sig took note of the way her eyes shined as she said “looooooooooove”.

 

Amitie was indeed excited. She would’ve never guess that Sig was seeing someone on the account of her believing Sig’s romantic attraction was practically non-existent. Amitie never really thought about it because the situation never presented itself, but seeing the letter made her think back and wonder if she’d miss something. Sig never had shown any signs of being attracted to boys, girls, or anyone really. Amitie was worried about it but Sig never seem to show a problem so she quickly dismissed her concerns. She was more concerned about the other things that deeply troubled her about Sig.

 

"I'm in love?"

“Well that and whoever sent that wants to...like date you and stuff!”

“Date?”

“You know-” Amitie stops herself because she knows Sig really doesn’t know. “It’s when two people are really really good friends, and-”

“But we were already really good friends-”

“I mean really REALLY good friends”

“We’re really good friends, does that means I’m dating you too?”

“NO!” Amitie yelled, her face turning pink.

Sig’s face scrunched together in irritation, “Amitie, I don’t think you know what that word means after all”.

Amitie sighed, “No it’s...it’s really hard to explain”.

Amitie was starting to believe Sig really had no romantic interest in him.

 

“Ok so you know about me and Raffine-”

“Who?”

“Raffine…?”

“Who’s that?”

Amitie sighed a bit louder, “Sig we’ve been over this, didn’t Raffine sent a letter about that?”

“That was Rachael”

‘“I...ok...well..you know about me and…’Rachael’ right?”

Sig looked a bit confused so Amitie continued.

“You know that we’re...uh..,” Amitie continued to grow more red, to the point that Sig was worried that she caught a very fast fever.

Amitie moved closer to Sig to whisper into his ear, “That we’re dating…”

“Oh” Sig said.

Amitie waited for a response before asking Sig, “Well, did that help?”

“Does that mean I have to be a jerk to you too?”

Amitie sighed for the third time defeated. Sig still doesn’t get it.

“Maybe someone else can explain it better than me…”

“Sorry”

“It’s ok!” Amitie said as her usual vigor returned, “I already know who you should ask!”

 

Sig was unsure about that but still let Amitie grab his hand and guide him away. Amitie was a very caring person, that much was obvious to Sig. She was someone that would go well beyond what was necessary for a friend. He knew that wherever she was guiding him would definitely have the answers he needed. Amitie wouldn't take anything less than that. 

Once they reached the end of the path with bright streetlights and homely building ahead of them, Amitie gently pushed Sig towards the direction of a bright purple building. Sig could make out in bright yellow letters "coffee shop" adorning the store front. With that the two friends parted. Amitie waved to Sig as he went on his way, her cries of "GOOD LUCK!!!" getting softer in the distance. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Sig found himself in front of a small coffee shop in the busiest area of Primp town. From the outside he could see the beautiful velvet furniture surrounding clear glass tables, perched on top purple candles to enhanced the cozy atmosplere. He opened the door and was welcomed with the smell of cream and coffee beans purifying the air. The store was moderately empty with only a few recognizable faces sipping tea or moseying the small dessert section near the register. The barista was donned in a long purple apron, cleaning his matching glasses from fogging up for the 13th time. Sig quickly recognized who it was and walked towards the barista who has now began fighting a rather stubborn stain on a particularly old mug. When he noticed Sig walking over, he greeted the young demon with a smile.

 

“Ah, salutations Sig,” Klug said. He wiped down a few more glasses before putting them down and turning his attention to Sig.

“Hi, Klug.”

Klug’s smile faded when he saw the ladybug crawling in Sig’s hair.

“Sig…” Klug began, adjusting his glasses, “What did I told you about bringing that...that thing-”

“Huh?”

Klug pointed at Sig’s sky blue hair, “The bug on your head of course! Why do you-”

“Coccinellinae.”

“What?”

“Coccinellinae, it’s part of the Coccinellidae family-”

“I don’t care what it’s called!” Klug said as he slowly got frustrated, “This is a coffee shop, Sig!”

Now Sig was getting frustrated. Of course he knew this was a coffee house! There’s not many things he knows besides bugs but he at least knows that (after Klug had to explain it around twenty times).

“I know what a coffee shop is, Klug.”

“Then you’d know why there’s a problem with having bugs in it, Sig!” Klug argued, “People don’t want to eat at a place with bugs and stuff!”

“It won’t bother anyone.”

“It will if it ends up on a person’s plate,” Klug remarked.

Sig’s face went from upset to frightened so fast Klug was physically taken aback. He was going to ask why but as soon as he thought to say something, Sig quickly ran out the front door. He can barely see Sig crouch down near a shrub for a second before returning to the shop.

“Thanks, Klug,” Sig said as he returned to the counter.

“For...what?”

“For warning me. I had no idea people ate bugs here, good thing you told me.”

Klug then held his face in his hands, sighing loudly.

 

Unlike Amitie, Klug has absolutely no patience for Sig’s usual quirks so he usually keeps conversations with him to a minimum. It’s a shame really, because Klug is always impressed by Sig’s natural unnatural strength and would love to discuss it. However since it’s Sig the most he'll ever get out of a discussion with him are more bug talk and the annoying realization that Sig fell asleep with his eyes open mid-conversation...again.

 

“You’re...welcome I guess…” Klug said hesitantly.

Silence fell around them for a few seconds before Klug cleared his throat.

“So...did you came in for a cup or…”

“Huh?”

“You don’t particularly come around here unless escorted by Amitie or someone,” Klug stated, “Unless you are finally willing to try a cup of coffee?”

“Hmm…” Sig began, furrowing his brow in deep thought. “No.”

Sig didn't like the bitterness of coffee. It was dry and tasteless, and cocoa beans reminded him of the Hypothenemus Hampei which he does _not_  want to eat.

“Well...why are you here then?”

‘‘I forgot.”

“Really,” Klug said flatly. How could someone’s memory be that bad?

Klug would have complain more if he hadn’t noticed the tall green figure walking through the front door.

Klug's eyes widen and a visible blush was appearing on his face.

“L-LEMRES!” Klug shouted.

“Ah..the place smells good as always,” Lemres said with a smile. He walked up to the counter and gave a quick wave.

“Hi, creepy guy.”

“I-wait what?!” Lemres almost choked.

“HE IS NOT CREEPY!” Klug loudly said, still coming down from the bit of star struck he had.

Sig nodded even though he was more than sure Lemres was creepy.

“A-Anyways! I’ll get you your usual!” Klug said in a hurry as he returned to work. Lemres turned his attention to Sig. He gave him another smile and said “H e l l o,” making sure to put emphasis on every letter.s

Sig turned around and began to leave.

“Wait!” Lemres grabbed his wrist in a hurry. “Wait w-wait…”

“Yes?”

Lemres sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. “Uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you off.”

“Oh.”

Lemres smiled sheepishly, “I’m not really sure how I give off a creepy vibe but-”

“Your hat.”

“What?”

“Your hat could be scary.”

“Huh? My hat?”

...

"Also your face looks creepy."

"That's...rather rude."

"So is being creepy."

...

Lemres started laughing.

“You’re so interest Sig” Lemres said in-between laughs.

 

Sig looked at him oddly. Lemres was always very weird even to his other weird friends. Besides his odd obsession with sweets, not many people really know that much about Lemres. He was a constant mystery that slipped his way into everyone’s lives. Kinda like Sig, himself. Maybe that's why he felt sort of comfortable with Lemres, another otherworldly outsider, someone who drifts away when no ones looking. Someone who's traveling, looking for someone or something to ground them and make them feel at home. While he was still musing over this Lemres’ hand found its way to Sig’s shoulder.

 "You seem deep in thought, that's new!" Lemres said pulling Sig closer to him.

"Uh..sorry did that sound rude?"

"I don't know," Sig said who wasn't paying attention for the last several minutes.

“Come, sit with me,” Lemres said as he guided Sig to a small table surrounded by red velvet couches. Lemres sat opposite of Sig, taking off his hat in order to run his hand through his light grey hair.

“Ah, this is nice”.

Sig nodded in agreement, looking out the window. He hopes his Coccinellinae was doing ok without him.

"This really is a nice area," Lemres said to no one in particular.

Sig, who was half listening, nodded.

"I haven't lived in a calming place like Primp town in a while...how about you Sig?"

"Huh?"

"Did you always live in Primp town?"

"I.."

Sig actually had no idea.

How did he come here anyways? Why couldn't he remember? It's as if the memory itself was ripped from him, ghosting past him to remind him of its existence but not what it was. Sig scratched his head not knowing how to answer the question. Luckily, Lemres seemed to sense his discomfort. 

"Ah, it must be difficult for you to say?" Lemres said apologetically, "I can relate, but let's talk about something else then, shall we?"

Lemres then gave another smile, and hoped that Sig couldn't see it was forced.

“So...what did you order?” Lemres asked out of curiosity.

“Huh? I didn’t order anything.”

“You didn’t?” Lemres asked before his face froze in realization.

“I...oh, I’m sorry!” Lemres said, embarrassed, “I must’ve cut in front of you!”

“You did?”

“Well, I ordered an extra sweet frappuccino so we could definitely share that, how does that sound?”

Sig is growing more and more confused by the minute. Before he could figure things out, Klug arrived with a drink in his hand. He placed it on the table, his shaky hands spilling a bit on top.

 

“H-here you go!” Klug said, smiling brightly.

“Oh thank you, Klug~” Lemres said as he scooted over, “Here, come join us.”

“HUH?!”

“It doesn’t sound like there’s a lot of people here, so I think it’s ok if you take a little break,” Lemres said, patting the empty area next to him.

“OKAY!” Klug quickly sat next to Lemres, trying to stop constantly reminding himself that he’s sitting next to his idol and how ABSOLUTELY **AMAZING** THIS IS.

“Here Sig,” Lemres said sliding the sugary drink towards the demon. Sig took a sip and recoiled a bit after being struck with a wave of sugar. Was there any actual coffee in this?

Not like Sig liked coffee but he also didn't like drinking liquid sugar.

“What’s all this about?” Klug said confused as Lemres leaned over and spoke in a quieter voice, “Since I owe him, I cut in front of him before he got to order,” he mentions to Klug.

“Huh?..” Klug said, “Sig didn’t order anything.”

“Huh?”

“Oh”.

…

After that Lemres laughed again, much louder than before.

“Oh man...Sig you really are interesting, stealing my drink and everything!” Lemres had his hand covering his face trying and failing to subdue his laughter.

Sig and Klug remained confused.

“Oh yeah right, why did you came here again Sig?”

“Huh?”

“You still didn’t answer me”

“Answer what?”

“Why are you here, Sig,” Klug demanded, “If you’re not here to shop why are you here?!”

“I don’t know.” Sig replied.

“You still don’t remember?!”

“Remember what?”

“AUGH!” Klug draped himself over the table, “It’s like talking to a brick wall..”

“You sure do have a way with talking to Sig,” Lemres said.

“D-don’t tease me!”

“I was being serious, really~”

 

Sig watched them carefully. He really did wonder why he came in here. Maybe he wanted to talk to Klug? Sig always had a problem with focusing on things. He had so many thoughts buzzing in his head, it was impossible to remember just one. Amitie suggested he’d get a notebook to write things down but then he forgot the note-

Wait..Amitie..

Sig did talk to Amitie earlier...yeah he did...but about what…

Oh.

 

“Courtship!” Sig yelled slamming his hands on the table. Klug let out a loud scream, gripping the cloth of Lemres’ cloak with all his might. 

“Excuse me?” Lemres said flatly, not noticing Klug letting go of his cloak and slumping on the table, embarrassed.

Sig dug in his messenger bag and brought out the letter given by Salde.

“A letter?”

Lemres grabbed the letter and let his fingers ghost over it. Since he couldn’t see the letter Lemres felt the etched letters left by the pen. He then began to giggle as he gave the letter for Klug to read.

“So...you’re saying the ocean prince has...uh..in layman’s terms ‘asked you out’?”

“Yes?” Sig said “I don’t know what any of that means.,

Klug read the letter and looked at Sig in shock.

“YOU? YOU’RE DATING SOMEONE?”

“Yeah sure.”

‘WHAT?!” Klug said his hands flailing wildly, “And with that...fish thing?!”

Sig nodded.

“BUT..HOW? WHY?”

Sig started to get frustrated.

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking, what is it?”

Lemres smiled, leaning close to Sig.

“Ah, are you asking me...what I think you’re asking me?”

“Yes.”

“Huh?” Klug looked over at Lemres suspiciously. No amount of fanboyism in the world could change the fact that Lemres was shifty as hell. No one ever trusts what Lemres said, except in an emergency where it moves from “absolutely suspicious” to “still moderately suspicious but since he’s a very powerful warlock that knows what he’s doing we begrudgingly trust him I guess”.

“Well then…” Lemres said, “I guess I should tell you what you should know since you two are dating…”

Finally, Sig was going to get the answers he wanted. He sat back and waiting patiently for Lemres to begin. He felt relieved. He’s glad to be able to go to Salde filled with the knowledge of this “courtship”.

 

And then Lemres preceded to talk, in full detail, about how to perform gay sex. It was a magical conversation filled with hand gestures, euphemisms, and reenactments with the spare gummy fish he had.

Klug stared wide eyed at Lemres in horror, trying to tell himself this was a dream and his idol wasn’t detailing gratuitous sex acts in front of him.

Sig, who zoned out at the first mentioning of intercourse, was thinking about the mating patterns of the Tenodera Sinensis whose females eat the male after coitus. Sig grimaced at the thought, hoping that “courtship” does not lead to him eating his friend. Though Amitie did say she was dating Randama and they haven’t eat each other yet.

 

“OK THAT’S ENOUGH” Screamed Klug red in the face. "WHAT...MADE YOU THINK ANYONE WANTED TO HEAR THAT?!"

If there were any customers left after Lemres' ..uh "story" they would have left because of the young red-faced boy flailing his arms like a wild cat after a bird.

“Aww..” Lemres pouted, “I was getting to the good part, we still didn't cover bukkake yet..."

Klug’s expression went from mortified to terrified, “There’s...more…?”

Lemres smiled, “Of course~”

“AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”


	3. Chapter 3

 

After Klug woke up from his unconscious state, Sig decided to look for someone else who could better explain what “courtship” and “dating” was.

Sig found himself walking around the nearby forest, contemplating on who to ask, when he bumped into a bluish figure.

“Ouchie!” The figure said, rubbing the back of its head.

Sig looked over at the figure and quickly realized who it was.

 

“Watch”

 

Well almost whom it was.

“What?” The girl stood up and straightened her cobalt blue dress. She picked up the pointy witch hat and placed it back on her head.

“Did you say watch?! You should watch where YOU’RE going, knocking into girls and stuff”

“Sorry, uh...Wench…?”

“What?...Oh my god, my name is Witch!” Wenc-I mean Witch said.

“Oh yeah”

“Gosh, you’re a weirdo, like super weird,” Witch said, crossing her arms and giving Sig a very pointed stare. Her eyes turned to his arm and she smiled.

“Ahh~, You’re the demon kid,” Witch said, a mischievous tone in her voice, “I’m glad I ran into you~”

“You are?” Sig said, clearly suspicious.

“Yeah yeah!” Witch said excitedly, grabbing Sig by his not-demon hand, “Follow me! I need you for something really REALLY important!”

 

Sig really doubted that but let himself be dragged by Witch to a small wooden cottage surrounded by different varieties of mushrooms and herbs. He could smell the faint scent of soup and smoke coming from inside. Witch gingerly skips over and knocks lightly on the door.

Sig felt this place was familiar to him, but didn’t realize why until an odd figure opened the door.

 

“Visitors~” He said, dancing around the two in bliss, “It’s so gooooood to see you two~”

“Hi Gogo~” Witch said as Gogotte guided her and Sig into the cottage. Sig looked around at the many potted flowers and vials were lying around. In the center was a large pot brewing what he believed to be fish soup.

“Here, here! Try some!” Gogotte gathered two bowls and poured them some of the cauldron soup. Sig looked at it questionably while Witch was already digging in.

“It’s so gooood~” Witch said which made Gogotte beam.

Sig tentatively tried a sip afterwards and found himself downing it as well.

“It’s good”

“Ah~ I’m so happy!” Gogotte gave a huge smile to them both.

"What's in it!"

"Peaches, sweet corn, shitake mushrooms, thyme-"

"Whoa whoa hold it!" Witch yelled, "I gotta write this down"

"Oh~ You're gonna make _me_ a batch this time?" Gogotte said with a bounce in his voice, "Ooorrr, is it going to be another one of your tricks~?"

"Ohoho, you caught me~" Witch giggled

It was nice. Sig felt a pleasant atmosphere between the three of them. He didn’t know if it was from the smells or from the happiness of his friends but Sig felt content.

“Anyways Gogo,” Witch began placing her dirty bowl next to the much cleaner ones, “Time to get to business!”

“Ah~ Are you buying more mushrooms again?” Gogotte asked already moving to the front door.

“More than that!” Witch said excited, “Since I have the final ingredient!”

“Huh?” Sig said.

Uh oh.

 

A few minutes later, Sig found himself partially covered in flour as he saw his uh..friends? running around carrying all sorts of plants.

“Rosemary?”

“Here~”

Gogotte gleefully handed Witch the green spice, watching her drown it in the giant boiling cauldron.

“Why am I here,” Sig asked, impatiently bouncing from one foot to the other.

“Do you have the crimini mushroom?”

“Yes~ Let me grind it up for you!” Gogotte said as he dropped the shroom in a large stone bowl.

Witch skipped to a potted plant and picked three petals, “Some petals from a blue hydrangea should work!”

“Heeeeeey..” Sig called out. He didn’t like being ignored.

“A drop of milk, and…” At this point Witch walked up to Sig and let her hands get tangled in his blue locks. She then yanked out a single hair, making Sig yelp as he pushed her away from him.

“There we go! Demon essence!” Witch proudly announced, dropping said essence into the pot.

“Ow..” Was all that Sig said. Seeing his discomfort, Gogotte walked over and gently patted Sig’s head.

"It's ok, you still got plenty of hair!" Gogotte said with a smile as he began petting Sig's head. The antenna on top of Sig's head twitched. It was...actually a bit comforting.

“There, a perfect potion of power!” Witch said, “I wanted Satan, but he’s way too grumpy to anyone but Arle, gosh…and you know I _tried_ to get Arle to seduce Satan for me, but she was like-”

“Who?”

“Who what?”

“Who’s Satan?”

Sig knew Arle, of course he couldn’t forget her, but who the hell was Satan? Maybe it was that giant dancing fish…

“Ah, nevermind,” Witch said as she scooped up some of the brew to fill several small vials she had tucked away in her dress.

”I’m not 100% that it might be effective this time, but I can always find that pervert and test it on him!" Witch giggled menacingly.

“Anyways,” Witch began walking up to the boys with a wide smile, “Thanks for the help! I couldn’t had done it without you too~”

She leaned over towards Sig and gave him a peck on the cheek, turning to Gogotte to repeat the action. Sig looked at her strangely as she kissed him, her hair almost overtaking his face. She smelled like earth and cinnamon.

“What’s with that face?” Witch said glaring at him, “Do you not like a kiss?”

“I don’t know”

“You don’t know what a kiss is?”

“I guess?”

Witch looked confused for a second before giving Sig a sly smirk, “Oh ho ho~ Is it that you want more than a kiss~”

“No”

Witch was taken aback from his sudden bluntness.

“Geeze, you’re so boring,” Witch said puffing her cheeks, “I knew I should’ve brought pervert, he’d be fun to tease~’

“Oh oh! Let’s find him!” Gogotte said happily.

“Good idea!” Witch said, skipping off, “Common Gogo! I know where he’s at~”

“Wait!” Sig said as he ran after her. Witch immediately halted, turning on a dime to face Sig, “Hey, go be boring somewhere else-”

“You didn’t say what a kiss was”.

Silence.

“You...you were serious?!”

“Yeah”

“Uh…” Witch said, visibly embarrassed, “I..I just did it!”

“But why”

“I-”

“Let me answer~” Gogotte jumped in front of Sig, placing a hand on his chest and sighing in an exaggerated manner, “A kiss is something someone does when they have....bubbly feelings insiiiiide~”

“What?!” Witch was definitely embarrassed now, “It was just a dumb kiss! Like a ...uh..’thanks for the help’ kiss, geeze!”

“So you kiss people to thank them?” Sig thought that was weird. He never had to kiss someone to say thank you. The only people he had seen kiss was Amitie and Rullina, and that was after Amitie accidentally set fire to the classroom and Rukie helped clean up the mess. So..maybe it was-

“No, you only kiss people you reaaallly reeeeaaaalllly like~” Gogotte said proudly.

“Really?”

“Those people that give you that pit pit patter feeling in your heart~” Gogotte's eyes (well, the one visible) was practically filled with stars.

“Pit pit patter..?”

“The pit pit patter of looooooove~”

 

Sig's interested piqued at the word "looooooove". Amitie said something about that earlier. Is kissing some weird requirement for "loooooooove" and "courtship"?

Witch became a giggling mess at that, watching Gogotte sway around, “Like how I loooooove making soup for others, maybe even stronger than that!”

Sig never felt something like a pit pit patter in his heart before, except the time when Klug was possessed by a 1,000 year old demon. For some reason, getting close to him made Sig’s left hand tremble and his left eye burn with an intense heat so bad it left him sweating. It was kinda scary, almost as if he could feel the hand of the grim reaper wrapping its hands around his neck.

Love is scary…

Sig was greatly worried for his and Salde’s safety.

“So..that’s what kissing is for?”

Suddenly, Gogotte started to lean in so close to Sig his plump mushroom-like hat rested on Sig’s forehead.

"Do you know hoooow to kiss someone?" Gogotte inquired.

Sig shook his head.

“You tell someone you reaaaaaallly like them,” He said with a curl in his voice. Witch stood beside them clearly interested in how things are playing out.

“Yeah?”

‘And then you,” Gogotte continued to lean in closer to Sig. Sig was very confused until he felt something soft against his lips.

“Oh my g-” Witch was about to say before Gogotte quickly pulled back and clasped his hands together thoroughly pleased with himself.

“Like that~” Gogotte winked and grabbed Witch by the wrist, “Common! Let's find pervert~”

“Uh...s-sure?”

And with that the strange duo left. Sig stood there wondering what exactly happened for he felt more confused than he did when he started his journey. What is a kiss? What is courtship? What is dating? What is half of the things Lemres said?

 

Sig sighed.

There’s no point in continuing trying to find this out, so Sig went to finally see the prince, hoping his answer was there waiting for him.


	4. Chapter 4

Sig stood by the entrance of the grand water palace that the ocean prince resides in. Sig, still confused on what exactly he was going to do, sat on a rock processing his thoughts. There was more to this dating ritual thing than he thought. While he was busy thinking, out of the corner of his eye he saw two orange blobs walking by, a clear chip in their step. Could that be…

“Onion Pixie,” Sig called out.

Onionette, who still fancied Sig a bit, shyly covered her face as he walked closer.

“ONION ONION ONION!!!” Onion Pixie said.

“Home wrecker?” Sig said confused. He definitely didn't spend his time destroying homes. “What's that?”

“Onion! Onion oni~on!” Onionette said with a wink.

“ONION ONIOOOOON!” Onion Pixie said, embarrassed.

Sig sighed. Onion Pixie was still mad at him. Sig tried on numerous occasions to apologize but it usually ended with a heated puyo battle. He really liked seeing these two happy. He would never want to break up their relationship-WAIT.

“Hey, wait you two are, uh ‘dating’ right?”

“ONION ONION!”

“Oh, you're married? Congrats.”

“ONION ON ON ONION!!!!”

“Married for 10 years? Wow..”

Sig didn't know anyone married for so long, in fact he didn't even know anyone married. Except Arle. Maybe. Sig really didn't get that situation she has with Stan.

“How did you two met?”

“ONION!” Onionette excitedly took the lead and began explaining in detail of her and Onion Pixie’s romance.

“Onion onion, onion, onion onion onion oooooonion onion onion!” She began, her eyes sparkling like gold.

“Wow since you were kids?”

“ONION!” Onionette gave a wink that made Onion Pixies entire body beet red.

“How did you two know you were in, uh, ’loooooooooooove’”

“O-onion! O-o-onion onion onion!” Onion Pixie said, clearly embarrassed.

“...Onion..” Onionette said, her voice a whisper, “Onion onion onion….on..”

“Hmm? You were best friends but..”

“Onion….onion onion onion…” Onionette gave Onion Pixie a warm smile that he gladly returned.

“Hmm…” Sig thought.

For some reason...seeing the love between the two triggered something in Sig. He felt...warm. It was a nice feeling. He was truly glad for the onion couple.

Sig continued to wonder. Would Sig ever have this kind of warm feeling of his own?

Sig...had no idea.

Sig had

no

idea?

Did he really had no idea...

These feelings felt familiar to him, like a warm embrace slowly letting him, Sig wants nothing more than his mind to be filled with the familiar warm press he believed he had. It was like an addiction.

But why does he want that?

Why...

Sig had no idea and for some reason, right now, he was truly shaken by this.

Apparently one day Onionette looked at Onion Pixie and didn't see her best friend, she saw her lover. Sig didn't know if he ever felt something like that. Everyone looked the same to him. Except that time Klug was acting really strange...was that this feeling? It didn't...burn like it did then. He tried his best to understand feelings, even going as far as writing down what he thought might be feelings but…

Sig still had no idea. What are emotions? He can't rely on Amitie to give him a cheat sheet for emotions forever. Would she even be with him forever? He really was different. He thought he should be sad but why? Why would this make him sad? Is it a feeling of loneliness? A feeling of envy? Is it because that no matter how much he tried he couldn't have a normal relationship like this? Or a normal relationship at all?

..Sig didn't know that either. Sig felt close to his friends, but is it the same kind of feeling? Does he feel love for his friends, did they feel love for him? If they were to disappear would Sig be sad? Should he be sad? Could he be sad?!

…

Sig didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know,  
he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't know, he didn't-

“Onion?” The onion pair looked at Sig with concern. How long was he musing on this?

“Onion onion…”

“Crying?” Sig wiped his eyes with his demon hand. He felt the tears burn away as they drip on his claw. Why is that?

“Oh, I was crying” Sig stated.

“Onion onion onion!” Onionette gave Sig her handkerchief with a small smile.

“Thanks,” he said, wiping his eyes. Sig had no idea (again) when or why he started crying, but his eyes were far redder than before.

“Onion onion?” Onionette asked.

“Sad?” Sig said. “I don't think so,” But Sig of course didn't know.

After that exchange, Sig got up and stared at the shimmering castle before him.

“Well, I have to go, goodbye you two,” Sig said bending down to pat both onions on their heads.

Onionette blushed a deep pink, which angered Onion Pixie until Onionette gave a small peck on her husband’s lips(?)

 

Sig watched this and the embarrassed flailing from Onion Pixie that followed after. He silently stood back up and walked, his mind buzzing louder than ever.

What to do, what not to do, relationships, marriage, fondness, romance. Love was so much more than Sig ever thought it could be. Whenever he learned new words or new feelings, it's not nearly exciting than seeing it happen, feeling it, being part of the joy, sorrow, anguish that is born from it. It hurts sometimes, being overwhelmed with emotions, but Sig doesn’t mind. Since that's how humans live, right? Like right now, Sig's heart was beating so fast. He was so close to understanding love that he could almost-

“OW!”

Whoops, Sig just stumbled right onto Otomo.

“Huh?”

“Oh..” Otomo said rubbing his face. His eyes grew wide when he realized who crashed into him.

“OH!” Otomo nearly yelled, “I was just going to retrieve you! I'm so glad you're here, the young master’s been on pins and needles waiting for your answer”! He’ll be so overjoy-”

“Doesn't that hurt?”

“That you- huh?” Otomo stopped, “What hurts?”

“Being on pins and needles. That doesn't sound comfortable,” Sig said. He pricked his finger on wood once. It hurt. He could never imagine having that times a thousand.

“Oh no! I'm sorry!” Otomo shuddered out his apology, twiddling his fingers, “It's just a figure of speech-”

“What's that?”

“A play on words-”

“What's that?”

“An expression-”

“What's that?”

“Nevermind”

Otomo sighed, wiping the sweat from his brow, “A-anyways, come inside!” Otomo led the way to the large living quarters. The entranceway had a floor with a regal red carpet damaged by water, beautiful elegant drapes damaged by water, and adorning the walls were dazzling paintings damaged by water. Otomo realized that his young master does not know how to plan ahead.

The living quarters was a large room with glass couches a large glass table and a swimming pool which, not surprisingly, leads to the ocean. The floor here was clear allowing Sig to see millions of fish dancing below. On the couch closest to the two was the one and only Prince Salde Canal Shellbrick III.

“Behold! Mine servant hath cometh!” Salde stood up exictingly, making his way to Sig.

“What ailed you!?”

“Huh?”

“Why did it take so long...um...for you to get here...he said..” Otomo replied.

“Oh,” Sig began, “I was trying to find out what courtship meant”

“...What?” Salde said.

“I didn't know what it meant”

“LOOK ON THE BACK!”

“Huh?”

“Did you um...l-look at the back of the letter..Sig?”

“...”

Sig didn't.

Sig quickly got the letter from his messenger bag and turned to the back to see:

 

 **Courtship**  
ˈkôrtˌSHip/  
noun  
1\. a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship, especially with a view to marriage.  
2\. behavior designed to persuade someone to marry or develop a romantic relationship with one.  
synonyms: romance, love affair, affair; engagement

 

“Oh.”

Sig should really learn to look on the back of things.

“OTOMO!” Salde yelled scaring Otomo nearly out of his skin, “get some cookies fo- I- I MEAN, mine servant doth desire substanance,” Salde said, quickly correcting himself.

“Um..o-ok..”

Otomo awkwardly hurried out the room, leaving the two alone. Salde marched up to Sig to examine him, which would've looked threatening if Salde’s head made it past Sig’s chest.

“So?”

“...so?”

“Relinquish thine answer”

“Huh...to what?”

“To-..You know!”

“No”

Sig saw Salde fidgeting, his cheeks flush, and his eyes looking everywhere but at Sig. Sig wondered if Salde was also sick. He also hoped there wasn't some scary red-faced disease flying around Primp Town.

“Servan- uh um,...Sig..” Now Salde’s face was entirely red. Was he ok?

“Yeah?”

“Ummmm....mmm...mmmmm,” Salde looked as if he might explode. Sig was very concerned at this point. Maybe he should get Otomo-

“MINE..M-mine proposal….for..uh...courtship..u ..uh..” Salde felt himself sink lower and lower to the ground, quite possibly mimicking the act of melting before Sig’s eyes.

“Do...you accept...the courtship thingy….” Salde said his voice close to a whisper.

Salde had absolutely no idea how, when and especially _why_ he fell for Sig, but he was certain he did when the next time he saw him Salde ran straight into a lake to hide (Otomo mentioned that it was a tad bit overdramatic which Salde reluctantly agreed). Maybe Salde read one too many adventure books of knights rescuing princesses and what not. He couldn't help but think about the time he and Sig went on a quest in search of the fabled star lantern. It was written like it came out of his story books! Salde the incredibly wonderful generous and all around great prince, Sig the handsome (but dumb) knight, that other guy whatever their name was, as the evil dragon. It was perfect.

It was an adventure that Salde never thought he could have while being stuck inside his castle every day. That taste of adventure, the heat of the battle between Sig and That One Evil Guy Whatever Their Name Was, thinking about it got Salde excited all over again. The feeling of treading a mysterious world, of hilding onto Sig for security, it all felt...perfect. As the words of the courtship left his mouth, he hoped, he truly hoped, that Sig felt, at least a little bit, the same feeling of excitement that he-

“Ok”

“...What?”

“I'll accept I guess”

…

A beat.

…

“OK”

“Yay!” Said Sig, happy about accepting something he just found the meaning of five minutes ago.

“Now what?” Sig asked.

…

Salde had no idea.

He really needs to plan ahead.

“I...I don't know, do like...couple stuff I guess?”

Salde actually has no idea how relationships work beyond the romance in his adventure stories. There was a lot of poetry, singing by the moonlight and hand kissing. That's the gist of a relationship right?

“Couple stuff?”

“You know...like..poetry, singing, kissing?”

Sig’s eyes grew wide.

Sig had no idea how to write poetry, and Sig has proven on more than one occasion that he cannot comprehend singing, if Klug’s disgruntled “Do you know what a high note is?!” is anything to go by.

"W-what's with that face?!"

But kissing…

Sig knows what this is.

"I-I mean, thou does seem queer-"

Sig understands.

"W-wait what the hell are you doin-"

He can do this!

"Mhpt..!"

Sig cups Salde’s face in his hands and kisses him full on the lips.

 

Sig did it. After his long journey, he finally understood what couples are suppose to do. There were many definitions of love and affection, and many different meanings to a kiss. Sig has only been kissed four times (by Amitie, Witch, Gogotto, and accidentally by Klug), not counting this kiss of course. Sig felt a comfortable warmth from them, but didn't know it until now what it was.

Love.

He knew what this feeling was the whole time.

He knows.

All of it was love. Every warm feeling, every smile growing within him. Sig understood now. There was no difference for him what was love, there was no reason for him to distinguish what was friend love and what was couple love. He loved his friends, that was what was important. Sig didn't know if he could truly understand ‘romantic love’ but he didn't have to

He knows what love is.

He knows how to love others.

He knows that he is loved.

That's alright for him.

Salde recoiled abruptly, his face way passed the normal amount of red.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

“Kissing”

“I KNOW THAT BUT...BUT WHY-”

“Couples kiss”

“I! KNOW!”

“Did you not know before? It's ok I-”

“NO YOU’RE NOT GETTING IT,” Salde had his face buried in his palms. His face was red hot all the way to his ears. His head was buzzing with one thing and one thing only.

He kissed me he kissed me he kissed me he kissed me hekissedmehekissedmeHEKISSEDMEHEKISSEDME **HEKISSEDME**

“WHY..WHY DID YOU KISS ME?”

Sig was confused, “You said couples kiss...we’re a couple so we kiss right?”

“I DIDN’T MEAN THAT KIND OF KISSING THAT'S LIKE ADULT STUFF-”

“Adult stuff?...” Lemres’ words began replaying themselves in the recesses of Sig's mind. He then looked at Salde with a seriousness Salde had up to this point never thought possible with Sig.

“Salde...we absolutely cannot have intercourse, it might lead to one of us eating the other-”

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!”

“The Tenodera Sinensis, the females eat the heads of the males after mating-”

“GODDAMN IT I MEAN NO ADULT...KISSING STUFF”

“But couples-”

“KISS SOMEWHERE ELSE LIKE...I I DON’T KNOW MY HAND?”

“Huh?”

“LIKE THEY DO IN THE BOOK!”

“Book?”

Book?

“Oh”

Salde must've read extensive how to books on couple etiquette. Sig felt ashamed, he wasn't as thoroughly prepared.

Sig still has more to learn I guess.

“So...then you hated that kiss?

“WHAT NO B...I n-” Sig had no idea someone could turn this red.

“Then you did liked it?”

“NO I DIDN-”

Sig pouted.

“Which is it? You're confusing me”

“I...I DON’T KNOW”

…

“Oh, ok,” Ah. Salde must not know about kissing either. Sig understands, it took him a while to get romance and kissing too.

“Don't worry I didn't know about kissing eithe-”

“WHAT NO I..N..nevermind..” Salde sighed defeated, “Let's just...hold off on kissing for a while”

“Ok,” Sig was fine with that, apparently kissing had a weird ritualistic science to truly understand it as well.

 

Thankfully, it was at this moment Otomo came in holding a tray of cookies.

 

"Hey, how are you two doing-"

"FINE," Salde yelled running past Otomo at top speed with so much as a second glance. As he ran by Otomo could barely make out a "ESCORTOURGUESTHOMETHANKS" as he ran by.

"Oh uh...o-ok..." Said Otomo, visibly confused.

Sig looked downhearted. "I think he's mad at me"

"What? The young master would never hate you!" Otomo beamed, placing both hands on Sig's shoulders.

"Trust me, he might be stubborn, but believe me when I say the young master adores you!"

"Really?"

Sig didn't understand what adoring him meant, but as long as Salde didn't hate him, it was fine by him.

"Ok"

"Right! So I'll escort you back home," Otomo announced while gathering the plate of cookies. He offered one to Sig and he munched on it gingerly. They were thankfully free of bugs this time. Sig was greatful of Salde for that.

 

As the two made their way out the door Sig thought back to the beginning of his journey and the several things he learned on the way. His mind was a chikd trying to make his way through a dense forest, seeing creatures in the darkness but couldn't make out what they were. He was afraid of them at first but when he dared to reach out, to brave the darkness, the creatures were just as sweet and gentle as he tries to be.

For that he's greatful that he has friend, he's greatful to the people around him, the people who share his pain and the people who don't but try their best to understand.

Sig grabbed another cookie and continued walking with Otomo, a small smile adorned his face.

 

A few miles away, Salde sunk in his bed, his face still a bright red, silently mumbling though his pillow "he kissed me..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the story, or something. God knows where I was going with this
> 
> I just really like sig/salde don't sue me


End file.
